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It started with a cold, then progressed to severe headaches and other symptoms that prompted several trips to the emergency room.
Marquel first showed signs of a cold in mid-February. “He came down with a typical cold, he had a stuffy nose and sore throat, so his mom took him to urgent care, but they said it was a virus that would go away on its own and sent him home without medication,” his aunt, Nicole Alexander, told BuzzFeed News.
The cold symptoms did go away, for the most part, with the exception of some sniffling. But then the headaches began.
Photo Courtesy of Nicole Alexander
The first time, doctors diagnosed him with a migraine and gave him over-the-counter pain meds. “They said it could be migraines or stress headaches so we should just watch it and continue [with] the Tylenol and Motrin,” Alexander said.
While the over-the-counter pain meds would help Marquel's symptoms for a few hours, the piercing headaches still kept coming back. So a week later, Marquel was back in the ER. This time, Alexander said doctors gave Marquel a “migraine cocktail,” which consisted of an antihistamine (Benadryl) and more painkilling medications (Tylenol, Advil).
“He felt so bad that he wasn't eating or drinking well, so they gave him fluids thinking that could help the headaches, and the migraine cocktail with Benadryl to help him sleep,” Alexander said.
Marquel felt a little better, Alexander said, and stayed with his aunt for the weekend while continuing the over-the-counter pain meds. “Nobody was thinking it was anything other than what they told us it was [a migraine],” Alexander said.
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When Marquel arrived at the hospital, doctors did an MRI that revealed that a bacterial sinus infection had spread, causing blood clots that triggered strokes.
“The blood clot behind his eye was causing the swelling, and there was pus in between his skull and his brain. … We later learned that he had already had strokes, which was why his face was drooping,” Alexander said. Marquel was given intravenous antibiotics and taken by ambulance to C.S. Mott Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Photo Courtesy of Nicole Alexander
Once he arrived at the hospital in Ann Arbor, doctors decided they needed to perform surgery to control the infection.
“A neurosurgeon went in and removed the infection and pus from around the brain and skull and an ENT came and removed whatever infection he could from the sinus cavity,” Alexander said. (An ENT is an ear, nose, and throat doctor.) Although doctors were able to remove much of the infection, the blood clots had already put too much pressure on his brain.
“They continued a regimen of antibiotics and blood thinners to dissolve the blood clots, but they didn't dissolve quickly enough. … Between the infection and blood clots there was so much swelling and pressure in the brain that it cut off oxygen and caused the brain to die,” Alexander said. Marquel Brumley was pronounced dead on Sunday, March 11.
Marquel was remembered by his family and community as incredibly kind, bright, and helpful. “He was a straight-A student, played football and played the trumpet. … His goal every day was to make people smile and everyone loved him,” Alexander said.
Photo Courtesy of Nicole Alexander
“The biggest problem with diagnosing sinus infections (sinusitis) is that they don't always have very distinctive symptoms, and it can be hard to tell if you're dealing with a bacterial infection or a viral infection,” Dr. Richard Lebowitz, professor in the Department of Otolaryngology at NYU Langone Health (who did not treat Marquel), told BuzzFeed News.
Viral and bacterial sinus infections often begin with the same symptoms: congestion, sinus drainage, pressure, pain, and low-grade fever. Although symptoms like green mucus or bad breath are sometimes thought to be signs of bacteria, that isn't always true. “A viral infection from a cold is still an infection so your mucus will probably be green or yellow instead of clear,” Lebowitz said. If the infection is viral, antibiotics won't help — you just need rest, fluids, and over-the-counter pain meds when needed.
The most telling sign of a bacterial infection is the timeframe. “The cold will run its course, so a week to 10 days, and then you'll have persistent symptoms or localized pain in the sinuses or cheeks,” Lebowitz said. So if your symptoms do not improve or go away after about a week, seek medical care.
Doctors often diagnose sinusitis by looking at the progression of the symptoms and patient history. “The only way to really confirm a bacterial sinus infection is in an ENT office, where we put an endoscope in the nose and we can see where the sinus is draining into the nose,” Lebowitz said.
“The most common complication in children is for the sinus infection to spread to the orbital region, so the kid will have redness or swelling around their eye,” Lebowitz said. If the infection continues to spread, it can cause a blood clot in the veins behind the eyes and spread to the sinuses between the brain and skull. It's called cavernous sinus thrombosis, according to Lebowitz, and this can lead to strokes, encephalitis, a brain abscess, and death.
However, it is very rare for this to happen, and there are typically many warning signs. “Usually, the first signs involve the eyes and it takes a while to move to the brain, but sometimes you can just have a severe headache, which might just seem like a migraine,” Lebowitz said. In either case, antibiotics are needed to help treat the infection before it spreads and becomes more dangerous.
If you are worried that you or your child has a bacterial sinus infection, see an ear, nose, and throat doctor (ENT), pediatrician, or primary care doctor to get a proper diagnosis. While rare, Marquel's case highlights the importance of watching for warning signs and symptoms.
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“We just want to move on and heal from this, and we are telling his story to raise awareness. … Listen to the signs and symptoms and even if you are not sure, just go to the doctor to have them check you,” Alexander said.
After Marquel's death, his family donated his organs to seven people. “It's bittersweet. Obviously, that human part of us would rather have him here with us, but at least out of our loss, seven people don't have to go through what he went through,” Alexander said.
The family started a GoFundMe to raise money for Marquel's funeral expenses and his mother's lost wages.
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Everything you need to know to get the most bling for your buck.
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You're gonna want to talk to your S.O. about this one. What kind of stone speaks to them? If they like colored stones like rubies or sapphires, then you'll probably end up spending much less than you would on a diamond. Anything lab-created will likely be cheaper than mined (and almost definitely more ethical, too).
If they still want that diamond look but don't care if it's real or not, consider either moissanite (much cheaper than diamonds) or cubic zirconia (cheaper than pretty much anything). Moissanite is still a naturally occurring stone, though most are simulant (man-made), and are often even more sparkly than diamonds. CZ are simulant and usually don't shine as brilliantly, but will still be plenty sparkly.
Sure, a moissanite or cubic zirconia won't be quite the same as a diamond, but chances are 99% of the people who see the ring won't know the difference.
You're going to want to make sure you get a GIA (Gemological Institute of America) report for your diamond, which will tell you all of its stats. There are other agencies that grade diamonds, but the GIA is generally considered to be the gold standard. So be sure to check who graded your diamond, because it might be from some shady organization, or the jeweler themselves!
When you start shopping for diamonds, you're gonna hear a lot about the “Four Cs,” which are Color, Clarity, Cut, and Carat. The carat part is the weight of the diamond, i.e. how big it is. The other three will determine how your diamond will look. Cut is graded from Poor to Excellent/Ideal. Clarity is graded from Flawless to Included. Color is graded alphabetically, starting with D (colorless) to Z (light color).
A perfect diamond would be D color, Flawless clarity, and Excellent cut, but a stone like that would cost you a fortune. To the naked eye, it's very difficult to tell that a VS1 or VS2 diamond has any flaws in it…even an SI1 diamond might look perfect to the average person. So don't go for FL, IF, or VVS clarities.
As for color, generally people want to stick between D and J. But if your diamond is, say, VS2 clarity and an Excellent cut, the brilliance of the cut and the high clarity will cover up the diamond's color. The above photo compares H, J, and K color diamonds, and I don't know about you, but I can't tell the difference.
So if you're looking for a real bargain, aim for a K color with higher marks in the other categories. There are whole communities of people who have K color diamonds and love them.
Smaller diamonds cost way less than bigger ones. Like, way, WAY less. So if you're looking at solitaires (one big diamond on its own), it's going to be expensive.
Getting a smaller center stone surrounded by other, smaller diamonds (usually called a halo or cluster style ring) will save a bunch of money, if your S.O. likes the style.
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In most cases, you'll see a noticeable difference in price between a diamond that's 2 carats versus one that's 1.7 carats. Diamonds are often priced in carat “brackets,” likely because people go looking for a stone that has a specific carat weight, so a stone that's slightly lower is less desirable to those shoppers. However, a stone that's only a small fraction of a carat lower will look pretty much the same size.
Generally, round brilliant-cut stones have the most sparkle because of the way they're cut. So unless your S.O. is hell bent on getting an emerald cut or something, go with round. The more sparkle the stone has, the less you'll notice any inclusions (flaws) or yellowish color.
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You know the jewelers you always see commercials for around the holidays? They offer big brand names, but you have to pay the price for them. Same goes for department stores. So if the brand isn't important to you, buy from a smaller, independent jeweler.
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For example, the “diamond district” in downtown Los Angeles has countless jewelers selling diamonds, and that local competition often means discount prices. Just make sure to do your research, shop around, check Yelp, and make sure you get a certified GIA report with your diamond!
It may or may not work, but depending on the seller you might be able to talk down the price a little bit. Even if that doesn't work, the jeweler might offer a discount on your wedding bands if you buy those from them as well.
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Some online jewelers sell loose diamonds that can be put into a setting, and allow you to see actual, up-close photos and videos of the diamond you're purchasing so you can truly comparison-shop in a way you can't in a store. This is probably your best bet for the lowest prices if you don't live close enough to a big city with a jewelry district.
Personally, I bought my wife's engagement ring from James Allen, and although the thought of shipping something so expensive was terrifying, it worked out well for me. They allow you to send back the ring if you want anything changed, and I took advantage of that when I discovered I didn't love the setting I chose as much as I thought I would.
Platinum is a beautiful, durable metal. It is also really, really expensive. Gold is going to cost less and will still serve you well. If you're on an incredibly tight budget, sterling silver and an alternative gemstone can give you a unique piece. However, bear in mind that people with sensitive skin or nickel allergies might need platinum, as it has no nickel and will have the least chance of irritating the skin. Figure out what metal works best for you, and don't let yourself be upsold if you don't need to be.
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“Conflict-free” is probably the label that most people know when it comes to ethically sourced diamonds. However, conflict-free really only means that the diamond didn't fund any side in a violent conflict, e.g. a civil war. You may have to do more digging to find out if the diamond was fully ethically sourced, meaning no child labor, no exploitative practices, and no environmentally damaging processes were used. Diamond Foundry — which is backed by Leonardo DiCaprio — uses ethical and environmentally friendly mining practices in the US, and offers pretty good prices.
Sites like HaveYouSeenTheRing and IDoNowIDont have a marketplace of sellers trying to pawn off used engagement rings and wedding bands. The prices are usually set by the seller, so you'll still have to comparison-shop in order to make sure you're getting a good price. However, you're probably aware that diamonds are a bit like cars, in that they lose most of their value right after you buy them new…so a used ring should be a great deal.
The only thing that matters is what you and your S.O. want. Do you want a big ol' sparkly diamond on a platinum setting? If your budget allows, you should do that! Are you both okay with a proposal that involves a ring made out of tin foil? Adorable, go for it! Don't let what anyone else thinks a ring, proposal, or wedding should be change what you want.
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